familiesintrauma

Relief, Belief and Understanding


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Death of What??

This blog comes tinged with a bit of sadness today due to having suddenly lost a family member.  It is always a shock to take this in, no matter how long we have been expecting it – but for us we only ended up with 3 weeks – so we are still trying to process this as a family.

Death of a loved one can and does bring very mixed, confusing emotions.  If it is a young person, most people feel that it is unfair and they have been cheated ; if it is death of an older one – there always seems to be that feeling that it was still too soon – no matter what their age.  Yes, death is an age old enemy. For those with faith in something else it can be a sustaining power, but nevertheless the sting of death is powerful for everyone.

However, this recent experience has got me to thinking of individuals I have interviewed who have undergone the cruelest of trauma in their life.  They they often speak of the grief of losing hope,  and, the death of all their hopes and dreams.    This can often be as painful as the sting from losing a loved one in death for example – and is often much misunderstood.

They are often told that they  shouldn’t feel like that  – after all…… we still have life!  But, it really depends on what kind of life we are living and what we have been robbed of.  This could be hopes of a future with another person,  seeing our children grow up strong, healthy and happy, having good health,  strong physical and mental health, a good job, a decent house and so it goes on ……  All of these things are only natural desires in all of us – and yet some have to deal with situations in life that bring them to their knees and hating life itself.  This can lead to suicidal feelings – so please – never underestimate these feelings. .

If we know of anyone who is feeling like this – its good to remember the old saying “there but for the grace of God, go I”.  We could all be suddenly in a situation we cannot cope with and struggling to find out how we actually got there!  So if we have a friend or family member struggling, don’t just dismiss them and think that “everyone goes through these things – we all just have to man up and get on with life.”   We live in a world that needs more understanding and compassion, not less!!    Reach out to those suffering and share what we can with them – it makes the world a far better place, not only for others – but for ourselves too!!